Elisa Gabbert
SCREENSHOT FOR ALLEN
Here’s you. Here’s your street. Now zoom out—way out.
That speck on the right-hand side by the scrollbar is me.
Hanging on the coast. Hiking around, in the cold-day air,
cerulean wind whipping at our faces with our own hair.
Over the dunes, always more dunes. You would have said,
Why does it have to be so sandy? Since you weren’t there,
I said it instead. I wonder what you were doing then.
Probably writing out equations on unlined paper
in your fast loopy hand: something I couldn’t comment on
except at this superficial level. How stupid of me
to find your pencil marks sexy. To prefer them
to the world: the huge freezing ocean: it does nothing
for me. This gull wing jutting up out of the sand.
Is there a bird down there, objecting? Politely?
Excuse me, world. I wasn’t ready to be buried.
DISASTERPOEM (FOR KR)
I want to drive under the overpass all night,
turn the stripe of light, the light’s blink
to a strobe effect—turn the light epileptic—
the interior goes orange, night-orange, the orange
of black—the edges go sharp/slack, sharp/
slack. I think So this is how it feels to be high—
I always think that when I’m high …
& I play & replay the film clip of K
when she stood up to go—when the towering
wave of her drunkenness hit, flattened her
there—when she fell like a building
down into itself, its own empty air—
freeze frame & rewind—those heart-breaking
legs, collapsible spires—it never gets old.
She’s with me now, half-asleep in the back
& ice-cold & now the moths are coming,
the moths of spring—moving toward the car
as it moves toward them—we will pass
thru each other’s fields. Don’t be afraid, K—
though afterward we may not remember
who we were before the crash.
